Why/How to detach your identity from anything material
“We buy shit we don't need, with money we don't have, to impress people we don't like."
The late stand-up comic, George Carlin, ever so eloquently rephrased a very famous quote by the author, Dave Ramsey.
From my experience of running a coach practice for over 20 years I noticed that this is particularly true for the young principals I worked with.
It appears that with coming to a certain age of about mid 30s this trend seems to decrease a little bit for most people; some never make it past this bling bling attitude.
In fact, I was one of those people as well for close to a decade in my life in the financial industry. My walk in closet at the equivalent value of an S class Mercedes. I had the cufflinks. I had to tailored suits. I had to watches. I had the car. I had the house. in the dick swing meetings among financial professionals you have to be some thing; only later, did I find out that it wasn’t about the bling, but it was about personality, reliability, and other virtues, which I know hold dearly, and which make me superior to a lot of the professionals I worked with who are still stuck in this mindset And have not grown personally an inch.
I was guided out of the financial industry, more than actually leaving it mainly because I broke my superior’s nose over a corporate politics dispute, which kind of spiraled out of control a lower bit. Not some thing I’m particularly proud of but you have to figure out if you’re good at politics, or not one way or another; I still suck at it today
So after my graceful exit, I turned to entrepreneurship for an obvious lack of alternatives, and Boy was a good at it!
Along with this new path, I intensified my coaching practice even further; I still wanted to help people just not anymore by multiplying their millions, and taking my gracious share, but by substantially improving their lives. (see a description of my first ever coaching assignment here)
I had downgraded my wardrobe to a degree where I was frequently very close to being escorted out of my clients buildings by security multiple times, and more often than not these maneuvers had to be derailed by a C level executive whom I was there to speak with.
Back to the Coaching: it was about the time where the first influencers started making their stellar careers first on YouTube and other video platforms.
A lot of the attorneys that these influencers worked with were friends of mine.
Quite a few of them were overwhelmed with a sudden fame, and frequently needed someone to help them get their new lives on track.
Needless to say that a lot of them were very young, and had no idea of the life, and the lifestyle; most importantly, that their fame was finite. You see, most influencers have an expiration date. A fact of which most of them are unaware. Even today’s influencers lives under the impression that the money is always going to be flowing in like a residual income; accordingly they blow their hard earned money, most often on status symbols to reward themselves for their “hard work” similar to the case I made here:
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It seems that around that time the crypto hype started.
People I knew, and was still in touch with from my excursion into the financial industry soon got in touch with me to tell me about the “fat stacks” they were making, and that crypto was going to change the world.
And while I did in 2016 started to exclusively take my remuneration for my coaching in bitcoin, I didn’t really see the world changing instrument that a lot of these visionaries were trying to promote.
Of course, I saw the necessary changes to the worldwide financial system, and the way a Blockchain and a digital currency could solve a large quantity of the issues faced by the global economy but the phenomenon of very young people, becoming a net-worth individuals, almost overnight, repeating itself what is the true eye-opener.
The crypto crowd in and of itself was made up of weird people. While there were those that were irresponsibly, flaunting their wealth, and thereby depleting their assets to show off to others that they made it. There were those who stayed in their 9 to 5 despite the fact That they had a nine figure bank account like the principal I worked with.
It wasn’t so much the new responsibility of being a family person now that made them so interesting to work with but more of the fact that they desperately wanted to hold on to their entire fortune and weren’t able to compute that both of these things can go hand-in-hand very harmonically.
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You can’t over-bling virtues
Either you are a reliable, loyal, and trustworthy person; or you are not.
Not being that type of person is what a lot of people I worked with tried to cover up with status symbols.
And to be perfectly blunt I did so myself.
Don’t get me wrong… I have always been loyal and trustworthy, and have never ever betrayed a person’s trust…. Kinda comes with the job when you handle other people’s money.
I was, however, chronically late for appointments, regularly, overslept, because of all of the nights that I spend working… And if I wasn’t working, I had to show off my new suits, my new watches, my new cars, and all of the other status symbols. That takes time; time I should’ve been spending in bed, getting a good nights sleep, instead of shortening the nights by means of caffeine, taurine, and less legal chemical compounds.
The realization that these status symbols were merely a deception upon those people I worked with to disguise this one critical virtue, that I was repeatedly failing at delivering upon, was a game changer.
You can’t take your bling to your grave
I understand how fascinating the mechanics and complications of $1 million watch can be. And I most definitely understand the thrill of driving over 400 km an hour on the highway. I understand desire for the lusty looks of the opposite gender when you enter the venue in a tailored suit or costume, or a pair of thousand dollar shoes. Been there done that got the T-shirt…
Question is: is that one hit, that one rush going to be enough? How long is it going to last? What’s the duration until you have to go out again to get your next hit?
As I mentioned above: leaving/being left from the financial sector was a true liberation. The new orientation in my life, the shedding of the corporate uniform was like breaking out of a cocoon.
Don’t get me wrong… I still have insanely valuable material items in my life; it’s just that they’re for me, and no one else to see, and by far the most valuable things in my life, are family members and friends.
How about: Increasing the distance to your grave?
In the Money Monday post from this week, I explained in excruciating detail the benefits of adding a farm to your portfolio.
I also mentioned that almost the only way to get to pristine food as fuel into your body is, if you create it yourself, and has total control over the process.
Remember, the thrills I mentioned earlier? Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to increase the distance to your grave? Wouldn’t it be great to invest that money you spend on thrills, and looks, and adrenaline hits on something that could actually extend your life?
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How?
We have access to obscene amount of money. So much that we even spend it on helping others; for tax purposes, mostly to be perfectly honest.
There’s one thing however, we cannot buy back: time!
I understand the urge to splurge money left, right and center yet a lot of us lose sight of what is actually important.
When stripped of status symbols, a lot of people carrying them around become meaningless personas. They are so focused on identifying themselves through the status symbols, and displaying them, that they forfeit important values, which would make them really interesting human beings.
The way you can get there, if you so desire is something, I’d be happy to explore together with you.
This entire lack of status symbols, ignoring corporate uniforms, gave me a profound feeling of freedom.
I look forward to speaking to you again on “Food Friday”!
My Best
Laurent Regardez
The UHNWI Coach
uhnwicoach@protonmail.com
Further information: https://linktr.ee/uhnwi
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