Liar!
I guess the very first thing is to own your true self, and that includes achieving the point of not lying to others; the first step should be not lying to yourself. - Ayumi Hamasaki
For those of you not familiar with Ayumi, she’s a Japanese singer, songwriter, record producer, actress, model, spokesperson, and entrepreneur… so one another successful HNWI.
And with that I’d like to welcome you to another “Wheels-Up-Wednesday”. And to remind you of the previous newsletters from this category:
Latest from “Wheels-Up-Wednesday”:
“Ouch” to “Awesome” - how replacing a word can change your life
Suprapurpose - finding a purpose in life, which doesn’t cease to drive you when achieved
均衡 - The Luxury of Personal Balance - Balance everywhere :)
Only-fans foot-models and influencers need life coaching, too - how “new money” differs from “old money”.
Making you wealthier than God - A quote from my first Principal ever
Why/How to detach your identity from anything material - When achieved, nothing can be taken from you - you become fearless
Now, did I deliberately choose such a provocative title for this weeks edition?
Yes, I did, and here is why: like in most walks of life, and no matter how much we adhere to our beliefs we lie. We all do. It’s a matter of fact. Most importantly though, we lie to ourselves.
I am very familiar with this fact because of the coaching practice I’ve been running for over 20 years now.
From 1999 to COVID-19
It was 1999 when I was asked to conduct my first coaching session. I had spent part of my youth in the United States. One of the friends I made was the heir to a fairly large business empire. Between my last meeting with my friend and his family a while had passed. During that time I’d gotten my degrees in engineering and finance, and along with the late…
Every coaching engagement is preceded by the “72 Hour Retreat”, the mandatory onboarding session I do with every single, potential principal.
These three days together, and detached from civilisation, and all other involvements my Principal may have to focus solely on the intensive review of their life as it currently is, and all the factors which lead to where it is now.
The Full Spectrum Life Analysis …
Is the first and most critical exercise.
It’s a total deep dive into the Principals life, reviewing the satisfaction level of every aspect of their current life.
If any life-aspect is less than 10/10 we drill deeper to find the inhibiting factors to later work on resolving discovered challenges.
From my two decades of experience most Principals will feel as though most aspects of their are 1000% ok, and need no further work… they’re rich, often good looking, and more often than that surrounded by people who do their bidding, afraid of any consequences from being anything but supportive of their superior.
You know what I’m getting at, right?
The reality a lot of my Principal’s lives in is diluted/shifted. Most to all of the feedback they receive is skewed by power-exchange, constantly feeding the spiral, distorting their reality even further continuously.
So during the first iteration of the 72 Hour Retreat most Principals come out with an average of 7.3/10, which appears quite decent.
We repeat this exercise to conclude the 72 Hour Retreat. Not as deep, yet with the same parameters, and the results are much more worrying with an overall average of 5.7/10.
Root of the Discrepancy?
So despite the fact that they have actively sought counselling, Principals resort to lying about the state of their lives.
Whether or not this is intentional, or a result of the feedback of the people they surround themselves with… it’s a distorted reality we humans tend to live in.
You have to understand that your reality is 100% built by you. The more powerful, and wealthy you are, the less the boundaries other people have to live within. Most of us have enough influence, and money to buy ourselves out of situations conventional humans would fold under.
Add certain personality traits you have to bring to the table to become as power as you are, and you have the perfect recipe for success.
The importance of at least having regular access to unfiltered feedback can be seen when viewing personalities like Muammar Gadaffi. The ideas this man started his career with, found in his truly fascinating “Green Book”, were nothing but noble. During the process of elevating Libya from a goat-hearers-state to a nation with a standard of living higher than that Brazil, and the Russian Federation, he seemed to have “lost it”… at least that’s what we’re made to believe. Yes, the man was different towards the end of his life, than when he started out on his quest; yet he was still loved, and celebrated by his people despite more frequently occurring, weird personality trait, and despite being wealthier than God.
Making you wealthier than God
Aristotle Onassis, yes the second husband of Jackie Kennedy, and probably one of the most infamous business magnets that ever lived on the face of this earth knew what he was talking about when he said it. So before we get started with this article, let’s do some housekeeping:
Lying to ourselves is the worst kind of lying because we limit ourselves tremendously in our personal development, and advancement.
In one of my countless 72 Hour Retreats I asked my Principal how they felt about their overall health condition as a part of the Full Spectrum Life Analysis exercise, and without flinching they said they were find despite the fact that we had talked about their severe obesity moments earlier.
Our lives are never, ever going to be 100% “Okay”, and we should be okay with that. Yet we should permanently strive to achieve that 100% status.
Here are a few actionable Ideas on how to Stop Lying to Yourself
Remind yourself why being honest is important
You go down the route of self-deception because it’s easer to lie to yourself than to others. That’s what makes it so fatal, and often results in a downward spiral, which is hard to be stopped.
The easiest way to stop yourself from lying to yourself is awareness; awareness that the truth you may be living in isn’t as flowery as you make it out to be.
As soon as you have reached a level of (self-)awareness, you can start to question all aspects of your life. Not with self critique, but just by checking whether you’ve coloured a particularly aspect of your life a bit more bright than it actually is.
From hereon it’s all uphill because you’ll know when you’re lying to yourself, and can engage countermeasures.
Keep a journal to explore your thoughts and feelings
Not only will a journal give you a brutally honest view of how things ARE currently, yet how they have developed over time. Are the circumstances in your life getting better or worse.
Work on forgiving yourself for things you feel guilty about
Guilt is one of the extreme drivers of self-deception. So being able to forgive yourself for lies you may have told yourself or others makes it easier to kick the habit.
Stop making Excuses
Excuses are there for no good reason. If you’re good at making them (in any walk of life) you suck at being honest… with yourself primarily, because you’re not accountable for your own excuses, and most importantly toward others.
Others, however, will hold you accountable (with or without the eye rolling) for the excuses you make for not having delivered on something you said.
Hope I was able to give you a bit of insight into the world of making your life perfect ;-) Or at least constantly aspiring to get to that point in your life.
If you want to reach 100% perfect life, let me know. I’m happy to help. :)
My Best
Laurent Regardez
The UHNWI Coach
uhnwicoach@protonmail.com
Further information: https://linktr.ee/uhnwi
60 Second Bio: https://about.me/uhnwi
120 Second Bio: https://tr.ee/Do7hm2sp0X
COACHING PROSPECTUSES W/ TESTIMONIALS
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